At every school I've ever been at, I've clashed with people without meaning too. Normally I felt like I have to act cool to get people to like me, but my version of cool wasn't always what others perceived as cool. Some of my friends would just tell me that I was being silly, but I'd normally have no one to tell me. This was part of my social anxiety, but also just because I didn't fit in period. Sometimes this was a good thing, as it stopped me getting in with the wrong crowd, but most often than not it was a bad thing.
One particually bad experience was when I was at tafe, when I was 17. I went to tafe after a year of close to no social interactions at all outside of my family. Needless to say, I started tafe without knowing anyone or having any recent social experiences. It was like a life of hell for me after the initial novelty had worn off. I believed I had friends, but pretty early I realized they were just fakes.
I tried for sometime to go with it, to just try and act the way they acted to me, but that just pissed them off more. I had a few people I got a long with but I never knew whether they were fakes as well or not. By the end of first term I'd been assaulted, bullied and had threats against me. Needless to say I started having seveare problems with trust.
By the end of the main semester, I was attending at around 4 to 3 days a week maximum. The one full week I went for 2nd term was for work experience. I only wanted to go to get my certificate from then on. I couldn't stand being there and its safe to say they couldn't stand me either.
Maybe I wasn't like them, maybe it was my mind playing up or maybe I'm just a bad person.
Who knows, who cares? I bet you don't
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.